Love Part II
In a maze of challenges
A young girl lies
She sits alone in a corner
Tears filling up her eyes
She doesn't know what to do
She's got nowhere to go
The girl can't stand it anymore
The whole world's got to know
That she's feeling all alone
And hurt, and angry, and afraid
Cuz today she's just resolved
To visit her own grave
She's says there's no alternative
Everything's just getting way too hard
There's too much to handle
But she's tried to do her part
But everyone says it ain't working
And that she's doing everything wrong
Now the only thing she wonders
Is why she's waited so long
She's wallowed in self-pity
Alone, burned, and broken
Her pain stems from the reality that
Her love's intention will never be spoken
The girl tried to seek solace
And a solution
To save her from her soul's affliction
But there's only one cure
Just one simple way
To rid her of this devastating addiction
But as she loads the Smith Wesson
The girl remembers how things used to be
When everything seemed to be so simple
Through life's suffocating clarity
Sudden flashbacks force her to recall
The instant she laid eyes on him
A time when reverses seemed to occur
And her future didn't seem so dim
Nothing seemed to matter then
She'd thought he'd heard the siren's song
At that moment the girl truly believed
That her soul mate had come along
So quickly the feelings filled her
And flooded her with raw emotion
She finally seemed to gain the strength
To abandon her empty notions
But once again she was dead wrong
What the hell did this stupid girl expect
A loser like her doesn't deserve
To have the least bit of self-respect
Her precious heart was crushed
And her life was turned around
She thinks of all the people she's helped
And the millions more she's let down
Her friends used to be able to count on her
They'd thought she'd always stay true
But nothing could ever change the fact
That she's stuck in a shadow's residue
Once pushed by the strength of conviction
The girl began to feel weak
She'd given up on any kind of love
And finally admitted defeat
She places her finger on the trigger
She's at the point of no return
Now she'll face her adolescent fears
In a private hell she'll burn
Bang, bang, the bullet flies
The lead burns a hole between her silver eyes
But wait, hold on, she's not yet dead
A fool rushed in where angels fear to tread
What the fuck, the girl starts to think
Can't she just do this one thing right
She's helpless and hopeless as she wonders
What she must do to end this life
So now she figures that there is no hope
Not even for her resignation
The only way for her to survive
Is to cope
With all these trials and tribulations
If she's meant to suffer
She might as well do what she feels
Nothing can be worse that what it was
The girl must endure hell in order for her to heal
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Unhappily Ever After
it's a tainted Love she talks of
and a tortured blood that fills her veins
her mind fills her with fury
and evil thoughts escape
she'd never thought she'd feel this way
temptation kills a weary soul
she'd never thought she'd go astray
desperation seizes all control
the world inside her's crumbling
while she's tumbling
and free-falling
from the castles she'd built in the sky
when she finally finds her calling
there he is to suppress her cries
here's a man who fails to see
all the Love that lets him be
instead he projects onto the world
a heart that doesn't bleed
and onto this woman he tries to impose
a fascist way of living
he gives her all she's never wanted
and robs her of everything she's been given
from the slings and arrows that pierce his fate
he forces his misfortunes onto the girl
her spirit dies from emotional rape
and the truth of her misery begins to unfurl
as time runs smoothly along the razor's edge
she reflects on her ugly life
one step forward and she's over the ledge
it's the only end to her suffering
and the sad significance to her strife
but he's blind to all her suicides
and deaf to all the lonely sighs
of the hundreds that he's ostracized
and the thousands more he's victimized
souls forsaken and forlorn
let go of all their childish dreams
dejected hearts and sentiments
find their fantasies ripped at the seams
their only hope is that she may speak
in protest to the tyrant's ways
no more feeling that they're weak
they believe she'll end his despotic days
but she's got so many problems
that they cannot even conceive
confrontation's too much for her to handle
it's too tangled a web to weave
so she'll go on living this death
cowering in the corner of a catastrophe
where a second self seeks bittersweet refuge
in a wicked man's mortality
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Without You
Broken heart
Crushed hopes
Dreams are lost
And everything's gone
Defeated by deception
Devotion denied
Absence of feeling
Result of your lies
Emotional death
Mental distress
Time wasted
And all's hell..
Without you
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The Way We Were
Why did you leave me?
Why did you lie?
Why'd you deceive me
And make me want to cry?
I told you I loved you
But you just turned away
Now you've found someone new
And worship HER in every way
You pretended you cared
And I actually believed you
My soul, to you, I bared
But you never really knew
How much I gave a damn
To how you, and only you, felt
And you still don't know who I am
With all the problems I've dealt
Just to keep you here
Here safe by my side
To keep you near
But then you fuckin lied
You went with that bitch
And now pretend to love her
A relationship in which
You two are the way we once were
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Impossibilities
on angels' wings i ride
while a wounded spirit guides me
i feel the euphoria and the hope
for a love that could never be
in my head i fantasize
of all my dreams coming true
but then it hurts to realize that
i could never be one with you
so many say that i should just give up
but i've always refused to believe
that when times get tough
and I've had enough
that my heart could ever deceive
i try to let my feelings show
but my cries have been cast out
cuz no one will ever really know
just what this love is all about
everyone thinks it's a silly crush
they have no idea how deep i'm in
the criticism doesn't hurt me as much
as the lack of support from friends
so how do i hold on
with nothing to hold onto
when everything's just up and gone
and my soul has been withdrawn
dying's all that's left to do
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Adolescence
Flashback phenomena
Insanity is like heaven
No more worries
There's just no more time to give a damn
Petty little people
Suffering through self-destruction
But they're happy
Still, I know what's right
And I'm going nowhere fast
Home used to be my sanctuary
Now I just crawl under the sheets and cry
Daddy's gonna scream and shout
Mama's gonna commit her fake suicides
And I'm dying inside
Life's canvas painted in shades of blue
And images of you fill my mind
Friends don't seem to be there anymore
Kings and queens hold grudges
And so do I
Let it go, she says
It's all my fault
I know
Best years of your life, they say
Then all life is a lie
Clique-y cool kids don't care
Big-haired Russians cast out
Sex rules
And there's no way out
Lovely ladies get these gorgeous men
And another loser bites the dust
Nothing matters anymore
I'm an old soul
Stuck
In teenage flesh
I'm just praying for an escape
So I drown my sorrows
In a plea for no tomorrows
I let go of false faith
And hopeless aspirations
I'm dead and all alone
But I smile anyway
Devastation upon desperation
And no one will ever really know
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Forbidden Love
Tell me what you see
When you set your eyes on me
Do you feel the pain I feel
To know we weren't meant to be
From the first time we met
The first impression I could get
Was of how much we could fit
Such dreams are hard to forget
But I should've known from the start
That you would never part
From the one you're with
Leaving her with a broken heart
It's one of the reasons I love you so much
Never willing to inflict a pain of such
On someone you so adored
On someone who so yearns for your touch
Almost as much as I do
And I still wonder if
If you only had a clue
Of all the things I'd planned of
Ways to somehow steal your love
And somehow show you that
You're my angel from the heavens above
But still we could never be
Unless you set yourself free
From the commitment that binds you
Allowing us to exist in harmony
As much as I hope we were together
I realize you've already promised forever
To one who obviously deserves as much
And I have to believe that it's all for the better
So I sit here suffering from this internal strife
Still hoping that you'd be a part of my life
And I still wonder how it'd be like
If only it weren't for your beloved wife.
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